2018 hasn’t started the way I would like. I started the first few days sick and at the end of the month ended up in the hospital for 3 days due to possible blockage/ stool stuck in small bowel. Only to return the day after discharge back to the hospital for severe pain- which now was an abscess the size of a tomato! I was in the hospital for 1 week and had a drain for 3 weeks. I am currently still on disability waiting to see what the next move is as I have two possible other abscesses in my last CT scan.
I am scared of the unknown. What happens next, the potential for more drains, changes of meds, and everything else that comes with Chronic illness.
I have delayed communicating with my GI in Cleveland until I know the full plan from my surgeon here at home. I am fearing knowing he’s going to say I failed yet another drug. I am no longer in remission, or the closest I have ever been to it. I am fearful of hearing the words I have active disease again. This is the fight that keeping on going. Every day is a battle.
I am scared, but I will win.