Today I called in sick. Not uncommon for those of us with chronic illness. However, I get increased anxiety because I think what are my co-workers thinking. (Is she faking? Is she really sick? Does she have the sick time?) Only a few know I have Crohn’s disease, including my boss. (I always make it a priority of informing my boss soon after hiring me). My issue is that we just got back from spring break yesterday and today I called in sick. Granted most of spring break I was flaring :/. Anyways, I don’t have the sick time to use. But I have submitted a letter from myself as well as my doctor to one of the directors of the company asking for unpaid time off on days like today.(I don’t qualify for the FMLA yet.) Thus the anxiety ensues.
As I track my symptoms of fatigue and the rash, I notice that fatigue increases vastly after I have a long day at work or in general. I am pretty much whipped the next day. Yesterday, I went to work as per usual weekday. Went to the hospital after to visit B, who is still in the hospital post removal of his gallbladder and the dr’s really have no idea what’s going on and he’s been in there for almost 2 weeks. The only thing that works for his pain is IV pain meds or toradol. Otherwise, nothing else touches his pain. Pain pills aren’t effective for him. He did receive the diagnosis for primary sclerosing cholangitis. He wakes up in pain at 3 am with constant sharp pain in his abdomen that is intense and then 12 hrs. later the same pain again. So I visit B whenever he wants visitors because I know what’s its like to be in the hospital. After visiting B, I went to the dentist to get my fake tooth! Hooray to not looking like a hillbilly anymore! One would think, Hooray, problem solved right?!?! Life’s not that easy, I now speak with a lisp for the next three to four weeks until my tongue adjusts to the fake tooth (more so what is keeping it in the roof of my mouth). I am very fortunate that the dentist was able to make the fake tooth/flipper in a day. But learning how to talk again is difficult. For example… I went to Subway because I was famished at 8 pm when I got back towards my hometown. I had to give myself a pep talk before going into Subway to order and of course what I want to order is going to cause extreme lisping lol. A flatizza with green pepper and onions. What it sounded like was flatissssssa with gween pwepper and onions. Oh my. Props to the Subway guy for not laughing hysterically at me. At least I can smile now. 🙂
I came home, ate, then finished some paperwork for work that needed to be done before the next morning. I didn’t get to bed until 10:15pm. That is extremely late for me. I usually hit the bed at 8:30-9:00 or 9:30 at the latest. I needed to take a shower in the morning which meant actually getting out of bed when the alarm goes off the first time. Hahahahaha.
Anyways, when the alarm went off my legs felt so heavy. I had sweat perfusly through the night so the shower was def necessary if I was heading to work today. But my mouth hurt, and both hips hurt. My legs weren’t going to cooperate today. Because my job involves physical aspects, work was not happening today. When I got up my back ached all day. The hip pain came and went. Appetite was fair. (Its not very significant anyways.) The rash was draining a little more than usual. Currently as I type, my ankles ache too now.
Sometimes I wonder if I am being a “baby” with all my symptoms and if I should have sucked it up and went. On the other hand, I think going could have made my symptoms escalate into this small flare turning into something bigger. From experience, I have learned that the later is true. Those who think choose to think differently can throw rocks until they walk a day in my “old body.”
Thanks for reading! 🙂
*picture compliments of google search