Ever since I can remember, I have always put the needs of others and their feeling above my own. I put my needs and my happiness on the back burner. In the midst of this I forgot to take care of myself, to the point where putting other people’s needs above my own effected my health negatively and my health reached an all time low. A low in which I didn’t even give a crap that I looked like crap each and everyday. I didn’t care what I was wearing and wasn’t wearing make-up (that’s not like me at all).
One day, I decided I needed to get back to the old me – I got my nails done and my eye brows waxed. A few weeks later, I got my hair cut and highlights put in (something I hadn’t done in a very long time). I began to start feeling like my old self again. I started taking the time to put make-up on before work. That was the start of me caring about me again.
I knew that I needed to take care of my emotional health as well. I knew I needed to reconnect with God and my faith. As God has been the only constant in my life. I needed to let go of the toxic relationships that were dragging me down as well. My ex-fiancé came back into my life and even though I had forgiven him for the past, I realized we had grown drastically apart in the 4 years we had not spoken. Our goals in life were drastically different now and holding on and being sensitive to his feeling only set me up for him to continue with his BS which I did not need that. I cut him loose and I don’t regret it.
I don’t need to search for a relationship with any other person but myself right now. I need to love me and take the time to care for me. I spent so much time taking care of other and being concerned about others that I didn’t take care of myself. I ate whatever I wanted because it was convenient and I lacked the energy to cook for myself. I NOW am focusing on me and my new diet as prescribed by holistic doctor (which is fairly similar to the Paleo diet). Once a month, I go get a massage with my mom which was the best decision ever. I also take the time and try to fit a bath every day as my time to relax my mind and body. It may not seem like a lot, but its everything to me right now. I need to focus on my health and putting me first for once. That is something that I am not used to but am embracing just the same!