Dear Friends and Family,
You have been an amazing support system. To some of you I bare my every feeling too- crying about my skin issues, complaining about my gut, and exposing the truth about the toll of Crohn’s disease takes on me. Others, I share the bare minimum. I feel I do my most complaining when I am in a flare or feeling really ill- that’s when I need to the most support to function as a person. However, when I am feeling better I complain less but that doesn’t mean I am feeling 100%. I guess that when I fall into the but you don’t look sick category (Because when I am sick and feeling like ass people notice- but they aren’t gonna say “hey, are you feeling okay you look like pass!” because that would be a daily occurrence and then it kinda becomes rude, lol.)
I can not explain to you the fatigue I felt and still experience to some degree. I can only revert to the SPOON Theory. (please Google it). Yes, going to work sucks my energy. Yes, going to the gym will hinder my progress right now. Yes, even walking. Yes, even lifting weights. Yes, only for 30 minutes. Yes, any extra exercise at this time. What seems easy to you is NOT the same for me. Although I am improving, I have a long way to go. Please respect my feeling when I sincerely decline activities that require major energy in efforts to maintain the progress that I have made thus far. I am working very hard to be semi-functional in society. Also, please be respectful when I decline eating out and no, I don’t want to just do it this one time. It makes me feel incredibly awkward right now to ask the waiter a zillion questions on how the food is prepared to avoid gluten and dairy. Also, it’s awkward and somewhat torture to go out and only eat grilled chicken which isn’t enough to fill my stomach while everyone else gets food that I want to eat. I don’t love grilled chicken but its the “only safe” thing on the menu. I want to eat your chili but that will leave in pain for days.
Thank you for always providing me the support that gets me through the rough days. But please provide me the respect of my healthy habits on the good days so I continue progress and have the energy to make memories with you on the good days.