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I have been struggling with Depression and anxiety for a while. About 1.5 years ago- I decided enough was enough- I hated my mood and how easy it was for me to become irritable- I talked with my doctor about prescribing medication to help. I was on a low dose of Paxil for awhile- I felt it eliminate my lows which was good, but I didn’t feel the highs either. So after 6 months or maybe more, I decided I wanted to see what life would be like without medication again. And it’s been a hell of a ride. Depression definitely crept back in and the same with anxiety. The anxiety attacks at night have decreased but I still have a hard time falling asleep sometimes.  When my Cohn’s Disease flares up- I notice my mood declines easily too and it’s that much harder to be happy or maintain a positive attitude. I just want to stay home and vegetate on my couch. I don’t want to go out and see friends- even if I am feeling ok. This is not like me.

I have debated going back to taking a medication again. A western medicine medication like Paxil because my depression has definitely interfered with my work at times. I enjoy my job but I feel like I haven’t been enjoying it much at all recently. But I have also considered trying something more holistic like 5-HTP which is essentially replacing the serotonin missing from the body causing the depression. But I am on the fence about both still considering both but weighing my options.

For now, I have been working on trying to take care of myself better- appearance, eating habits, and emotionally. Everyday, or almost everyday, I post a positive quote image on Facebook (found compliments of google). This is to inspire me to start the day with a positive mind set and focus on the positive and not get caught in the negative. And every night I try to end the day with a prayer, thanking God for the day! This has been doing me good for the past two weeks, so I am going to try and make it a habit.

Thanks for reading! 🙂

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