I didn’t start the New Year the way I had wanted (sleeping with terrible night sweats), but maybe the best is yet to come! 🙂
I want to share my resolutions because I want to have accountability and be able to reflect on a later date at how the resolutions are working, but hopefully they may be of use to someone else as well! 🙂
- Embrace myself.
For a long time now, I have been hiding my body. I can recall a specific incidence in which contributes to my behavior. Every year, my best friends and I go and get pedicures. On this specific year, I had erythema nodosum on my legs. I remember the technician looking at my legs in fear. Immediately I knew she was wondering if she could catch what was on my legs and why on earth would I come get a pedicure if it was contagious? I assured her it is a side effect of medication and not contagious. I think that she half believed me. Since then, I have not gotten a pedicure with them and have gotten a manicure and not explained why. My friends have even pointed out that we’re getting pedicures together to sit next to each other to spend time together doing something we all like.
For similar reasons, I get rashes on my legs and they are stark white and I rarely wear shorts or even capris- even in the sweltering heat. This year I want change that. I need to “embrace” my body for what it is because it is not always going to be pretty. But my body is also nothing to be ashamed of.
I also know I am going to have difficulty as my weight fluctuates- I am human. However, I dislike the low weight I am at now. I need to he heavier to be healthier and to have more energy. Also, at a heavier weight I more social and “living”. More on “living” later.
2. Develop and maintain a schedule that works for me.
I have so many medicines and supplements to take, I may lose my mind. Its not as easy as “just taking a few pills.” Certain ones have to be refrigerated, others take 30 minutes before meals, and others blended in boiling water (slippery elm). Additionally, sometimes I need smoothies because my body doesn’t tolerate food. So I need to find a way to take everything I am suppose for my body to function without getting up at 4:30 am and half-assing it and everything falling to shit.
3. Take Care of myself head to toe
What I mean by this is, I get so caught up in just treating ONLY the Crohn’s disease – that everything else falls to waste. I need to take care of my teeth, my skin, my mind, etc. I don’t want to create anymore problems or stress by failing to take care of myself properly.
I was watching Joel Osteen this morning on TV and it was like he was speaking directly to me. He said, “Don’t live life in neutral.” I need to optimize and live life to the fullest on my good days and not waste them. But even further, I can’t sit around waiting to enjoy my life when I get well. The reality of it is, I may never reach the point where I consider myself well enough. Basically, I need to get off the couch more when I can (with the understanding that there will be couch bound days and that is ok because I love my couch).
Thanks for reading! 🙂