My doctor put me on disability in July due to the severity of my Crohn’s disease and increased depression and anxiety. I couldn’t even hold a conversation without crying because I was so overwhelmed. But besides that, I looked normal to the outside person. They don’t see the pain I go through or that I crap my pants whenever I am not sitting down. 

I was asked by a co-worker what I do with my spare time now? Well- from my schedule you can see its full of medical appointments so I don’t have much “free time”. When I am not at a medical appointment I am sleeping or resting to heal. I can’t sleep or rest enough because my body requires A LOT OF HEALING!  So no, I am not bored at home. 

Also- the paperwork for short term disability is annoying. It should be simple but it is not. First you call a number and answer some questions over the phone. Then they send you more paperwork for both you and your doctor to complete. Good luck getting your doctors office to complete the paperwork in a timely fashion. Then after that they want specific paperwork completed for each doctors visit while on disability. The stress of getting all the paperwork done and chasing the doctor to get it completed is annoying. 

Additionally, at first I didn’t want to tell anyone I was on disability because of the stigma associated with it. I didn’t want people to think- “oh she doesn’t look sick, she must be faking it.” But the reality of it is I would rather be doing anything else but ending up in the hospital constantly because I am flaring AGAIN. And it really annoys me that when I saw the PA for clearance for surgery he asked me if I was going to be returning to work. Seriously?!?! You are in the medical profession and suppose to be encouraging! Having an ostomy bag will NOT prevent me from doing anything! The fact that he may have thought I would potentially “milk” the system frustrated the hell out of me. I WILL PROVE HIM WRONG! 

Thanks for reading! 🙂