Not to be a negative Nancy, but to tell the honest “gut-wrenching truth,” I am tired of fighting for my health. My body is absolutely exhausted after my 2 day battle with a partial blockage. Waves of pain and nausea. Forcing myself to drink fluids to stay hydrated and spiking a fluctuating low grade fever. An overwhelming feeling of blah because I want to crawl out of my skin and I want nothing more than to move from the couch but I can’t. 

 I fight for my health everyday. EVERYDAY. Everything I do is a calculated move to improve my health or maintain a somewhat “neutral” health status.  I am on a highly strict diet because my gut is extremely sensitive. I want to eat a burger and drink a beer without dire  consequence. Stress can result in sleeping for over 12 hrs to heal from the “trauma” that most people may just shrug off. I want to binge eat skittles and drink soda to “treat” my stress but I would be so sick as a result. I hate that when I feel like garbage, all my energy is drained by only going to the store for 5 minutes. 

I am tired of the fight my body has to endure to maintain a “normal” life. This is exhausting after 17 years. Everyday for 17 years!

I am just tired. I have decided that if I won the lottery I would not immediately pay off my student loans or debts or buy a house. I would hire a personal chef and a driver. The driver would take me to my medical appointments that are out of state. I should mention that I am not a great cook. Cooking requires a lot of energy and creativity especially with my dietary restrictions. So that’s shy I would hire a chef. I would alleviate a lot of stress. 

Until then…