Overwhelmed with emotion.

I appear very mellow, requiring a lot to provoke emotion. Once emotion is achieved, whatever the emotion is, I feel it full throttle. Anger, sadness, anxiety, etc. and I don’t know what to with the overflowing emotion or how to calm it down.

Sage advice

As a person with chronic illness I often feel isolated. My illness can pull me from my friends, work, event, huge life moments, etc. As much as I want my “healthier” friends to understand, they can’t. Even after 20 plus years of living with Crohn’s, I feel like I might just be grasping at understanding

Depression flare

The only way I can describe my depressive episodes is similar to a flare of any autoimmune disease. Right now I am not sure what triggers the episode or how it gets so crappy so quickly. But I guess, the stress of managing life with chronic illness is cumulative. Like any other flare, the exact

The buy in

I feel like I am in a constant state of panic and throughout the day the intensity varies. In counseling (local sessions weekly) we have worked on coping strategies such as imagery, meditation, progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing. Oddly enough we worked on them but I never implemented them at the appropriate times. Somewhere

A day of healing

Today’s President’s Day. A day off of work. However, it was not a day off of putting work in towards healing. I slept in today for much needed self-care. I made eggs for breakfast as I am tolerating them and I adds ton of salt to help with my electrolytes (ileostomy problems lol). I made

I’m back!

I somehow convinced myself that writing failed to benefit me and only to pushed myself into further isolation and to sink deeper into my depression. A lot happened. I lost my grandma June 18, 2019. She was in immense pain from what doctors deemed as colon cancer. My mom and I took care of her

A thought on Mother’s Day

Today at Walmart, the cashier asked me if I was a mom. My reply was only to fur babies. She kindly responded by telling me Happy Mother’s Day. Then while walking to the parking lot I thought how much her wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day meant to me. Recently I decided I would not

Does Healthy exist?

In an optimal world, I would like to believe healthy exists. However, in reality, I don’t believe it does. I am not healthy. I have Crohn’s disease, anxiety and iron-deficiency anemia. Looking into my immediate family: my dad had a 6 bi-pass surgery and has arthritis in his knees. My mom has arthritis in her

Poop-ageddon

So I started 2018 a little rocky. I just haven’t been feeling well. I am not sure if it’s because I injured my neck before Christmas, it’s the flu, a blockage, stress, or a flare. I just have a constant headache and my neck hurts on top of my output has been mostly liquid which

Reflections

Looking back on 2017, it was one of my healthiest years since I was 16. I recovered from ostomy surgery and returned to work full-time, Jan 2nd. While still struggling with some fatigue, depression/anxiety, and migraines- I minimally called off work this year. I attended social functions that I wasn’t able to attend years prior